This question is a spoiler for light from other stars by erika swyler
Ledger: Do you think Nedda abandons her childhood purposefully - mentally and emotionally, perhaps even literally due to the Gap - and convinces herself she didn’t deserve to have one due to Michael only knowing one hour?
Erika Swyler: In some ways Nedda never stops living in her childhood; part of her is always stuck in that formative moment when she had to make an enormous choice. To me, she was also a child who desperately needed a focus. Across the book, her passions and drive don’t necessarily change, but the motivations behind them do. That’s an essential part of growing up, finding those reasons for who you are and what you do. For Nedda, those reasons had to be intimately tied to being a Gapper. Her very logical mind needed to create logic for a totally irrational occurrence. That developed into needing to feel like her life and what had happened to her family and the town counted. So, yes, some of that’s a purposeful decision, but it’s also just her nature. That kind of need to make meaning is also a common response for people who’ve lived through trauma, which she has.